Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Cake or death

I have crossdressed all my life, always in secret and always in private but I wanted to tell you about an incident that happened to me recently that had a profound impact on me and has accelerated Evies growth.

I could have begun this with the familiar tale of wearing mums bra as a kid and it all stemming from there. That experience happened to me but I won't dwell on that story for now because it has been told before in innumerable blogs and personal websites by far more capable and eloquent writers than I.

I wanted instead to relay to you how I came to buy a fantastic pair of black knee high boots. I was shopping in Southend (yeah, I know!!!) looking for sale items of womens clothing, I had my usual boys garb on of jeans and jumper on but underneath I was wearing a red lacy bra and panties plus some tights. I just like the sensation as I walk along while knowing that no one else could guess what this good looking 30 something 6 footer was wearing.

Anyway, I passed Evans, the frumpy clothes shop for older women when in their front display were a brilliant pair of size 9 black knee high boots with a 3" heel. Remember what Lola says in the film Kinky Boots, '...the sex is in the heel...' that is very true and these were one sexy pair of boots and only £30 in their sale.

So with a deep breath and summoning up all my courage I grabbed the display boot and strode inside. Actually I hovered about a bit, it wasn't exactly a stride but you get the idea, the young assistant was serving a woman of Evans' more regular demographic but when she became free I asked if I could have the other boot to make up the pair. Off she went into the back stock room and came out a few minutes later with a big box with my boots in.

Now this was the moment of my epiphany, I could have grabbed the box, without trying them on first, bought them quickly and hurried out of the store. Likely to arise some suspicions but I could kid myself that they would probably think that the good looking 6 footer was buying them for an unlucky girlfriend, or not, it wouldn't matter I would be halfway down the High Street before the Secret Police were called.

No instead, in hushed tones I asked the assistant if I could try them on in the changing rooms. What you need to know here is that I have never been this bold, I have never openly asked to try on an item of womens clothing before, this was uncharted territory. The assistant bless her of course said yes. So there I was, in an Evans changing room with my boots. I removed my jeans behind the curtain and slipped the boots on over my tights. God it was bliss, they zipped up my calf's beautifully and fit perfectly. Not wanting to push it, I allowed myself a small twirl to admire myself and then slipped them back off and dressed again.

Upon leaving the changing rooms, I mumbled a hushed apology to the assistant in case I had caused her any embarrassment but she wasn't and showed none and instead she asked if there was anything else. I thought briefly about selecting a couple of dresses now that my secret was clearly out but I didn't want to push it. Instead I bought my fantastic new boots and literally floated out of the store. This small probably seemingly minor incident left me with such an incredible natural high that lasted for days afterwards. The shop girl will probably never know the profound impact she had on me, though not intentionally, just by being there and playing your part sensitively you enriched my life. Thank you, I will never decry Evans fashion ever again.

Well that was it, the boots are everything I expected and have worn them with all my little outfits, they look best with a dark knee length skirt and black stockings in case you wondered, but more importantly my boots represent a new era for Evie, one with a blog, a membership to the UK Angels website with participation in their fascinating forums and soon a visit to the Boudoir Dressing Service in London, where for the first time ever I will be dressed up as a girl in front of another person.

Further adventures in crossdressing to follow......

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Evie:

This story reminds me so much of my first trip to buy make-up for myself, and having to ask the shop assistant to help me with making choices, and applying it to see how it went with my skin tone etc. That was Body Shop, and they were excellent about it, too.

It's a really empowering feeling to ask for help and be able to take that step to say, "actually, it's for me..."